Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I think "payback" started today.

You just think that when you go to McDonald's, you'll repeat your order no fewer than three times just to get it all right, consume more calories than God ever intended in a single meal, and watch your kids play in a germ-infested play area without incident, right? A perfect outing.

Today that almost happened. We had a fun time with friends at McDonald's, but on the way home I learned something that made the meal a little less happy.

Emma gave her phone number to a boy.

She's FIVE. This isn't supposed to start yet.

Emma and Addie were playing with Emma's preschool friend, racing around the play area, laughing, pretending to be kitties, playing tag and squealing their high-pitched voices. I was a little stunned when she abruptly came to me, snowboots in hand, and declared she was ready to go home. Emma is NEVER ready to go home. She's like the Energizer Bunny who could climb and slide and play all day. I asked if she was sick, if she and her friend were getting along, if she was tired... and I just couldn't get to the bottom of it. She was just ready to go. We'd been there for nearly three hours (!) so we gathered our kids and things and went on our way.

We were almost home when Emma said to me, "We have to get home in case he calls."

"In case who calls, sweetie?"

"That boy."


"The one I gave my phone number to."

At this point I was regretting those hours we spent working on our phone number. I was longing for the days when she thought our phone number was 24 digits long, mostly consisting of eights.

Trying to appear calm, I asked, "Um, you gave your number to a boy?"

"Yes, the boy I was playing with."

"Well, Emma, you can't give your phone number to people you don't know."

"But we just met. I do know him."

"But you don't really know him. You don't know anything about him."

"Yes I do. I'm going to marry him. He was teaching me all about dinosaurs."

(DINOSAURS? That's the quality she's looking for in a future mate? What about integrity? Honesty? Humor? Someone over the age of FIVE?)

I went on to try to reason with her, and thought I'd succeeded in explaining why we don't just give out our numbers to strangers no matter what their age. But the minute we got home, she asked if I could check to see if he'd called and left a message for her. He hadn't.

I'm hoping she forgets about this boy (whose name she can't remember) and doesn't realize that he hasn't called. I'd hate her to know rejection so soon. But mostly, she's FIVE and shouldn't be handing out her phone number to boys!!!!! Oh my word.

So... the payback?

I'm guilty of similar crimes. To my friends, whether it was in high school or college (and many of you read this blog), I'm sorry for the times I gave my phone number to a boy and ditched you at McDonald's just to race home and wait for his call. I know it happened. Maybe it wasn't just like that, but you know how it happened. I'm glad Emma and her friend are only five and it's innocent, but I was much older and should've known better. I know it was probably hurtful all the times I did it, and I'm really sorry. I wish I would've spent more time with you and not those boys.

So to all my single friends out there, here are my words of wisdom to you: don't go ditching your girlfriends for boys who tell you about dinosaurs. They probably won't call. Even if they do, your girlfriends are probably way more fun and will be around a lot longer. I'm thankful for my girlfriends who stuck with me through all the times I chose boys over them.

And there were lots of times. This is not your cue to chime in with stories... I'm just saying there were lots of times. What can I say? Emma has McDonald's Boy, and in college I had Domino's Boy.

Oh, and we'll have a new phone number after tomorrow in case you need to reach me.


  1. Well, maybe...just maybe....she didn't write it down for him...so...if that was the case then there's no way that the little boy will remember and you are safe.....hopefully.....

  2. you had me giggling from McDigits all the way to the long-forgotten memory of Domino's boy. this is priceless Ang. too funny!

  3. We've been working really hard to get Emmaline to remember our phone number. After reading this, I don't think we will work quite as hard :-)

  4. Oh My Goodness! That is so funny!!!
    Have I ever told you that it's really fun being a Grandmother and how, now I get to sit back and watch all the funny things that your kids are going to do to make life interesting and are only a re-run and then some of what we went through when you were growing up? Have I ever told you that it's even more fun now because unlike me, you get to blog about it and share it with the www and save it as a real keepsake for years and years to come, (kind of like my old photo albums sitting high up on the shelf gathering dust and probably rotting away because I failed to use 'archival materials' while making them)? Have I ever told you that I love you, that I will be with you through it all or coach you if you need it and be your biggest cheerleader if you don't because I wouldn't want to miss a thing and I want to hear how your going to handle all of it? Have I ever told you not to write run-on sentences because it makes it really hard to read and that I have faith that you will manage beautifully, raising your family, with grace and sensitivity and most of all humor because that's just the way you are and I love you for the great job you're doing so far? Well, I do love you and I love your little family and all the joy they bring me every day in knowing what they're up to while growing in God's love because of you.

  5. Oh! And could you call me with your new phone number please?

  6. Secretly, I can't wait for the day when I read a post about her cruising the Red Robin/Albertsons parking lot. Love you, TIG!

  7. "...your girlfriends are probably way more fun and will be around a lot longer."


  8. What a great post! Despite your personal overwhelming concern (rightfully so!), this really made me giggle!

  9. PS- You may need to monitor her internet access a little closely. I've heard that five-year-old internet dating is reaching an all time high! :)

  10. Shoot...and to think, I was just about to mention Domino's Boy, and the guy who made the really strange chocolate-covered strawberries, and the guy who made a foam cut-out of your name and then lit it on fire when you broke up with him. haha! But since you've said it's not an occasion for that, I won't bring them up...or the three dates you booked for the same Valentine's Day that one year! I'm just giving you a hard time! ;)

    Don't worry Ange...despite the many dates you left in your wake, I think your friends all know how much you care about them...and there was definitely no shortage of entertainment when you'd come home and tell us stories about these guys! You picked the right one in the end...you just had to kiss a lot of frogs to find him! Emma will turn out ok, too. She may drive you a little nutty along the way, but she's got good role models! ;)

  11. Oh boy....it's starting already....Yikes!
    I asked my "boyfriend" Chris to marry me in Kindergarten....I was 5. He must have said no. :-)

  12. SO there. Why in the WORLD did we think it was a good idea to teach Grace our phone number?!

  13. Oh my goodness I cannot stop laughing! Oh Emma, she is going to give her Daddy a heart attack :)

  14. And, who could forget Mister "Whoo Hoo!" ?? ;-)

  15. Oh my, that is hilarious! In her defense, dinosaur knowledge can be a very charming trait in a man, I've always thought. Do you think he asked for the number? Or is she really just bold enough to offer it?

    On another note, someone made a foam cut-out of your name and then lit it on fire??? Please, oh please write a post about that!

  16. I told this story to Corey. The horrified look in my eye made me think he won't let Natalie play with your girls, if we ever get the chance to meet, lest they get the wrong idea. (Poor Gary!)

    So did he ever call?

  17. Oh Angie, this post had me rolling and scared out of my mind at the same time. I don't want my 5 yr old girl giving her numbers to any boys.

  18. DINOSAURS?! THAT'S what I've been missing...thanks for the tip Angie, can't wait to try that one out! :)


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