Friday, March 12, 2010

Number two was TRUE

Remember when I gave you ten facts about me, but three were false? I suppose I have some unfinished business since I never explained myself after giving the answers.

For example, number two... was TRUE.

Yes, it's true that innocent little ol' me was in a bar fight when I was pregnant with Emma.

Wanna hear the story? Because not only did it happen seven years ago this week, but tonight I'm going back for more.

Now, before I go further, I want you to know that this is MY side of the story. My sisters, who were by my side that night, remember the story just a little differently. I imagine they'll read this post with critical, rolling eyes. But I'm hoping that maybe one will follow this up with a guest post, explaining what THEY remember from that night.

Ready? Here we go!

It was a dark and stormy night...

Okay, I don't remember if it was or not. I think it was actually pretty nice out.

But anyway, it was GIRLS NIGHT and my sisters and I were going to make the most of it. We planned to go to the Grizzly Rose (a country bar in Denver) to watch Blackhawk in concert. We got as countrified as three city girls could get and made our way to the smoky bar.

But I was a nervous, giddy wreck. Just that morning, Gary and I had tested and saw two faint little lines on a pregnancy test. We were pregnant with our first baby!!! And here I was, in a smoky bar, surrounded by alcohol and wild cowboys. What effect could this possibly have on my baby? Would she be born with three arms because of the second-hand smoke? Would she have a hankering for chewing tobacco because of this meager start? I didn't tell my sisters my life-changing news, so all night it was just me and my little secret against the loud, smoke-filled room. I prayed that the ill-effects of such a rough environment would have no bearing on the perfect child in my womb.

Dramatic much? Just wait.

My sisters and were excited to see Blackhawk in concert, even if no one else under the age of 45 had heard of them before. As they took the stage, we jockeyed for position, snagging a pretty good spot on the dance floor.

We giggled and danced to the music, but before too long we realized we were being encroached by woman who was clearly not happy that we were so close to her. As Abby elbowed her and aggressively stood our ground, and Amy shied away pretending it wasn't happening, I took it upon myself to be the peace keeper and make sure trouble wasn't brewing. (Oh, Abby... stop rolling your eyes, you know this is how it happened.)
Things started heating up between drunk girl and the three of us, and hoping to protect Abby from being on the receiving end of a good ol' fashioned punch in the face, I stepped between Abby and drunk girl and nobly said, "Alright, everyone just calm down..."

And that's when it happened.

Drunk girl, who happened to be holding two red drinks in her hands, threw them in my face.

(Would this affect my unborn baby? The horror!!!!!!!!!!)

And in what my sisters claim was the most dramatic move in the history of Olson girls Girls' Nights, I brought my hands to my eyes in shock and very purposefully wiped the stinging alcohol from my burning eye sockets. (This description just doesn't do it justice. Ask me for a reenactment sometime.)

In the chaotic moments that followed, I was escorted by a bouncer to the bathroom (a detour, I thought at the time, since I was sure I was being kicked out). I may have claimed to be blind at that point, so maybe the bouncer took pity on me. But seriously, my contacts were burning with alcohol.

And my white shirt had splashes of red on it. Had I intended to accessorize with red, I would've worn a bolo, people.

By the time I returned the dance floor, nearby people had stepped up to defend the innocent three girls who had clearly been bullied. We were separated from drunk girl, and taken via bouncer to the VIP area to watch the rest of the concert in peace.
From our view next to the band, we could see drunk girl who scowled at us for the remainder of the concert. While Abby waved and gloated about our new and awesome position, Amy shied away and pretended it wasn't happening, and I, of course, played peacemaker and tried to downplay the place of privilege we now held. I know, good thing I was there.

Oh, and I caught a guitar pick. Yes, I did. Drunk girl did not.

And as for my unborn child? She suffered no problems thanks to that night, and is perfectly normal and heathy today. Although she does start twitching when she hears "Goodbye Says It All."

Tonight, Blackhawk is back at the Grizzly Rose... I'm pregnant again... and who knows what will happen.

So that's my story... and I'm sticking to it. No matter what Amy and Abby say.


  1. That was a story that definitely needed to be told. Can I be the fourth sister?

  2. Whew! The suspense you left me in with the bar fight story is OVER.

    And it was well worth the wait.

    That is hysterical. I nearly spewed coffee on my beloved "Macie" (laptop) when I read the part about accessorizing with a red bolo.

    You are a riot. So glad you're blogging again. Hope you had fun with your sisters!

  3. FOR THE RECORD... this is ONE story of THREE viewpoints from that night, and the other two of us already agree that there are some discrepancies here (sorry Ang!) Allow me to work through the details, and I will shed a little light on the truth of that fateful night.

    Stay tuned...

  4. Read it and weep... The TRUTH comes out!!

  5. I can't help but notice that the only consistancy between your story and Abby's is Amy's role. Perhaps if Amy could post her side of the story than the truth would really come out...


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