Timmits

I was at the grocery store the other day and when it came time to check out, I surveyed the lines and realized the shortest line belonged to the one checker I hoped to avoid. You know the one. I'm sure there's one at every store. Slow, overly chatty, preoccupied... whatever the reason, it seems there's always one to avoid. But I took the plunge.

On this particular day, he was chatty. Oh, was he chatty.

We started with small talk about the weather and the weekend, and I did my best to be polite and reciprocate conversation while also juggling three kids and refereeing the penny pony.

And then he said, "Here's an interesting timmit for you..."

I'm sorry, TIMMIT?

When he finished I said, "Excuse me, I didn't catch that. Can you repeat it?" A very believable line since I had my hands full with the kids and all, but the truth is, he lost me at TIMMIT.

"Here's an interesting timmit for you..." he repeated, as though he'd rehearsed and said it to every customer that day (and I'm sure he had). I think he was saying something about how many eggs are broken each day. Honestly, I don't know because I was thrown off by timmit.

I'm usually a very tolerant person, but for some reason mispronouncing "tidbit" struck a nerve. A very hormonal, pregnant nerve. It really irritated me. I was having this inner battle, laughing at myself to GET A GRIP, crazy pregnant girl!!!!

Pregnant or not, I'd never correct the poor guy. Little did he know that he'd touched on one of my biggest pet peeves - mispronouncing words - and that pregnancy only magnified the situation to seemingly catastrophic proportions in my mind. As I considered subtly replying with, "Well here's an interesting TIDBIT for YOU..." I quickly thought, "What would Jesus do?" and realized that he'd leave it alone. He'd probably just smile and nod and blog about it later.

Anyway, this seems like a good opportunity to share a few interesting pregnancy timmits with you.

In case you missed it, I'm pregnant. And this pregnancy has been different than ANY of my (four) other pregnancies.

• I'm grouchier.
• I have more acne than I ever did in all my teenage years put together. And all the cover-up in the world is not helping.
• SLEEPY.
• My morning sickness, which is mostly gone now (praise God!), was constant for 14 weeks. No relief after throwing up. Just a constant sour feeling in the back of my throat all. the. time. Nothing sounded good to eat, yet not eating made it worse, yet eating made me puke...
• EXHAUSTED.
• I actually had to google "excess saliva" to see if it was a pregnancy symptom. Because I had it. It was disgusting.
• Headaches. Lots of 'em.
• TIRED.
• Restless Leg Syndrome keeps me awake at night. Well, when I'm not making trips to the bathroom.
• I feel OLD. My body feels thrashed. It feels so different being pregnant now than when it did for the first time seven years ago. I'm falling apart. Every joint feels loose and achy, as though I should keep duct tape handy for when my leg falls away from my hip. I'm waiting for it to happen.
• Oh, and I've been beyond TIRED.

In conclusion, I've been hesitant to blog lately because I was afraid I'd go off the deep end and complain forever about all these dreamy pregnancy symptoms. I'm so relieved that didn't happen. (Ha!) Would you believe I had no intention of getting into it in this blog post? It just happens. I'm cranky and pregnant, alright?

I also have not had the energy to blog lately. I am exhausted more than I thought possible. Sometimes I take TWO naps a day and still fall asleep around 9. The simplest things seem to wipe me out. There have been mornings that the mere thought of lifting the toothbrush to my mouth was more than I could handle and I'd flip on a show for the kids and fall asleep on my bed. Pathetic, huh?

I don't have any smooth, poetic way to wrap this up except to warn you not to mispronounce any words around me, or you will experience the very irrational wrath of cranky pregnant girl.

You've been warned.