Thursday, July 26, 2012

Top 5 Reasons to Buy a Massive Bear

You've seen those gigantic teddy bears filling up shopping carts at Costco, haven't you?

The HUGE ones.  The ones that fill up the entire colossal Costco shopping cart so there isn't even room for a 120-oz. jug of apple juice or 500-count bag of chicken nuggets.  They're super soft and bigger than the children who beg for them.

Last fall I went into Costco to buy my usual:  two huge loaves of bread, an enormous bag of meatballs, and a giant jar of strawberry jam, when I stopped in my tracks.  That bear was staring at me with his big brown eyes and begged me to bring him home.  My kids - who I never give in to (seriously, I don't) - said, "Can we have him?" And I said yes without hesitation.



I can easily say it's the best $29.99 I've ever spent, and I have no regrets.  The kids love to read and snuggle with the bear and he's well loved here.  They've named him "Gary Beary Osborne."  And BONUS!  It will never, ever get flushed down the toilet.


A few months ago, I went to Costco with my sister and she couldn't fight the lure of the 53" bear.  He's pretty irresistible.  Before she could say no, the bear found its way into her cart (which ousted her children into mine due to lack of space).

Oh, I wish I had pictures of that bear safely buckled into her car's front seat, with his arm and paw out the window.  I nearly wet my pants watching her drive out of the parking lot.

But the fun was just beginning.  A few hours later, I began getting texts from her, showcasing just how well her new family member was fitting in.


  Perhaps he was checking his Facebook page?

Oops!  Bare bear.

 He likes it "over" not "under."

Snuggling with Justin... whose smile is bigger?

 It just looks so natural.

Not to be outdone, our bear had something to prove.  I hauled "Gary Beary Osborne" upstairs to snuggle with his namesake.  Gary was peacefully sleeping and had no idea I was taking this picture.  In fact, until he reads this, I'm not even sure he's ever seen it...

 

So in conclusion, I URGE you to run to Costco and buy this bear.  Not only will your kids love him, but sleeping husbands will too.  

Oh!  My title!  (Which I totally forgot about as I was actually writing the post, so now I'm just making these up...)  My top 5 reasons why you should buy this bear:

5.  Your kids will think you're awesome.
4.  You will think you're awesome.
3.  I will think you're awesome.
2.  The bear is super awesome.
1.  You can send late night picture texts to your sister about it.
(Notice I never said your husband will think you're awesome.)

Convinced?  I thought so.  

12 comments:

  1. Ummm... We were JUST at Costco! Wish I had gotten this post sooner, I could have been awesome!

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  2. You're posts make me smile and even laugh out loud! I'm sure my boys would LOVE this big guy and I'd be able to get pictures of them sleeping with him.

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  3. Do you know about Beyonce the chicken? I want a giant stuffed elephant.

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  4. I would love one of these for my Noey-bear! They come in light brown too, right? If only I knew someone with a Costco membership... ;)

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  5. I've passed up that bear many times. But I think due to reason number three I might go out and get one.

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  6. So cooooooooool!! Hahahah :) I want a biiiggg bear too! This huge bear really made my day :)

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  7. i've considered buying the bear but i don't think i could lift it into the house its bigger than me ;) oh and my husband would kill me i guess i'll have to admire yours

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  8. how has the bear spent its days?

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  9. Our bear has late night drinking parties! We always find him passed out surrounded by empty beer bottles. Love our Bear!

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