I'm feeling, oh, just slightly stressed that I'm due to have a baby in about a month. Right now, he has no name (not even a few top choices), his nursery-to-be is still pink with letters spelling "A-D-D-I-E" in it, his sisters have yet to share a room as was the goal months ago, Addie's not potty-trained (as was also the goal before his arrival), and I'm not mentally or emotionally ready. That's a post for another day.
Then there's my house. I get these rushes of a nesting instinct where I'll clean something random (did the front of all my cupboards really need to be cleaned? No.) or tackle some project I've been putting off (replacing the buttons on that dress I bought Emma at a garage sale last summer was sooo urgent), but generally, I don't have the energy to do what really needs to be done. I'm big and round, and quite frankly, mopping floors and scrubbing shower doors is not at the top of my list. But they need to be done. Is this a justifiable time to call Merry Maids?
Finally, I'm a mom. And I'm in a mom funk. Will you be able to contain your gasps if I admit that there are days I'm just not all that excited to be a mom? Again, it's a post for another day, but let me just say that a friend and I talked at length about it yesterday and she's in the same boat. Now, misery loves company, because as we talked about how we don't always feel like engaging with our kids, they kept coming up to us wanting us to play, and we were experts at "shooing" them so we could keep talking. Oh, the irony! I think in the end, we realized how selfish we were (and are in many similar situations), and after our time together, I realized I've got to make some changes. Last night I pulled out some Family Fun magazines, made a list of things I could do with the girls, and made a plan for today (because everyone knows that no plan = whiny kids and grouchy mom). I vowed that today I'd turn over a new leaf.
But when the girls woke up at 6:00 on the dot this morning, that leaf quickly withered and turned an ugly shade of brown.
I'll spare you the details of a day that went awry, but let me assure you there was little Family Fun to be had.
Let me pause for one quick note. To the couple standing in line in front of us at the post office: Did you not have young children of your own? Were you not a child yourself? When Addie whined because she wanted to hold the package, the look of disdain on your face, your eyes that rolled into the back of your head, and the sound which was similar to air being pushed out of tires, made me want to send YOU to time out. A little patience and maybe an encouraging smile to me that I'd make it through the day would've been nice. But hopefully the extra step you took to distance yourselves from us made your 30 seconds in line that much more bearable.
Okay, I feel better! (Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the patience for both them AND my girls at the post office this morning.)
All this to say, I had several posts planned out for today and was eager to sit down and pick which it would be. But instead, I'm sitting here thankful that my girls are taking quiet time seriously, sipping on a Dr. Pepper, missing my husband who is out of town, and trying to figure out how today went oh-so-wrong.
Tomorrow's a new day. Whew! Praise God for that!
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)