...my laundry was folded
...I didn't feel grumpy
...I could always find the remote
...my favorite pair of jeans weren't too tight
...my 2 year old would take a nap
...I had some ice cream in my freezer
...Chloe would just PLEASE take a nap right now
...I had that necklace I've had my eye on
...my baby would just EAT
...Addie wouldn't scratch her legs until they bleed
...I could find all the matches to widowed socks
...dinner were planned for tonight
...I had time to read the stack of books on my nightstand
...I were on time everywhere I go
...my friends' adoption would just go quickly without any hitches
...I quit picking my nails
...I could make it through a day without Dr. Pepper
...I had perfect vision
...I hadn't lost a baby
...I had an iPhone
...my favorite shoes didn't stink
...Chloe would sleep through the night
...my floors were spotless
...Emma would listen to me
...my mom lived closer
...I finished the curtains for Brody's room
...I had a quiet time every day
...I could get flowers planted in my yard
...Gary worked less
...I would just remember to keep my phone charged
...I could just get three stars on every level of Angry Birds
...my grandparents weren't aging so fast
...Brody were potty-trained
...I just knew how to be the perfect parent
...Emma had a best friend
...we had an extra bedroom
...I didn't have to pay that speeding ticket
...I could make a decision about school for next year
...I had more time and energy
...I weren't so tired...
THEN would life be perfect?
And so today, I learn how to be content.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
And it's hard. So I'll learn it again tomorrow and the next day too.
And I'll remember that none of this matters next to seeking the Lord. And am I doing that first? No, not always.
But what if...
...I did put God first each day?
...I made my quiet time a priority?
...I memorized scripture consistently?
...I prayed for strength and endurance and energy?
...I wanted God more than all of my own "wants"?
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matt. 6:33)
And so since my baby may not sleep through the night anytime soon, and since it's too rainy this week to plant any flowers, and since laundry is never really done and since I can probably find a way to live without Dr. Pepper, I'll take this verse to heart:
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." (Psalm 73:25)
And maybe everything else won't matter.