To do... or not to do

Worked this morning... blech.
Two sick kiddos... blech.
Synchronized naptimes... HOORAY!

Things I should be doing to take advantage of this time:

• Finishing my work project (should only take 20 minutes or so... what am I waiting for?)
• Write a few thank you notes that are overdue
• Upload some pics to get developed
• Do my Bible Study
• SCRAPBOOK - since I'm always longing to do it and complain I don't have the time
• Make my grocery shopping list
• Put that load of stuff into the dryer
• Iron (I loathe ironing though)
• Replace the batteries on Addie's swing... that she's asleep in!
  

Instead, I know I'll spend my time UNwisely reading blogs and catching up on my message boards. Seems like a waste of time, but it makes me happy! LOL

...and wouldn't you know it... the *thump* from upstairs tells me that Emma is NOT asleep afterall. Arghhh!! LOL... serves me right. 15 free minutes and I wrote about what I should be doing. LOL... never fails!!!! :)

Happy Day!

I told Emma to say "Happy St. Patrick's Day" the other day, and like she does with any other holiday, she merrily said, "Happy Day-eee!" (The "Day" part is very high-pitched.) Anyway, we celebrated the Green Day (I kept thinking of Shana all day when I told Emma it was Green Day) in fine fashion.


And also, today is Addie's FIVE month birthday. So here she is. What a doll.

She's getting so big and fun and smiles so easily. I adore her... maybe as much as Emma does. It's hard to say. :)

*love*

Being Thankful

I've noticed that I'm really kind of down and out lately. I feel really "blue." I don't know that I've really understood "blue" before, but it describes how I feel. I couldn't figure it out for awhile, but I think I've figured out why I'm so low lately...

Gary was home with us for over 3 months while he was on Sabbatical. WHAT A GIFT from God! I was so apprehensive at first... he would be HOME for three months straight?! I worried about him feeling like he was on Sabbatical from everything - work, stuff at home, being a husband and dad, etc. I worried about him kicking up his feet for three months while my whirlwind household circulated around him. It wasn't that way at all. The Lord really had His hand on the last three months. I watched our marriage strengthen, his bonds with the girls grow stronger, and I noticed great changes in his demeanor and attitude. But then suddenly a couple weeks ago, he had to go back to work. It was kind of bittersweet because admittedly, it is nice to get back into some kind of rhythm and routine, but it was so nice having him home. So now I think I'm just in some kind of funk with him being gone. Having extra hands at home was so nice, and just having his company was great. Such a departure from our normal lives where we never have time together. I have to get used to him being at work again and not let myself feel so down about it. We had a luxury that not many other people can boast of, and I'm so thankful for it.

I think my funk can also be attributed to the fact that this is the time of year that I work a little bit by helping out a few days a week in a tax office until tax day is here. It wouldn't be so bad except that I'm working more than I'd bargained for. Thankfully Gary's job is flexible enough that he's able to stay home with the girls (it just means we see that much less of each other when he has to work late to make up for it). Initially my boss had asked for 2 days a week for 4 hours or so. But here I am, with 4 weeks to go, working 3 days a week for 5+ hours each time, and he's alluded to wanting more of me. Argh! The extra money is nice - it's the only reason I'm doing it - but I hate being away from my girls that much. We definitely need the extra money, and the bonus at the end is VERY generous, but it's hard. We feel like the Lord has placed this opportunity in front of us right when we needed it, so it was hard to pass up since we can make it work. There's no way I'd do it if it meant putting the girls in daycare, in fact, I think the time Gary has with them while I'm away is good for all of them. Most of the time I'm missing their naptime anyway, so they probably don't realize I'm gone as much as I am. ALL THIS TO SAY... I'm so thankful to be a SAHM. I've never taken it for granted and I realize it's a situation not everyone has available to them. I just have to keep looking at this 8-week period that I work as temporary, and see it as a sacrifice for my family at very little expense. Thanks, Lord, for giving me a hard-working, caring husband who values me as a mom, and the GIFT of being a SAHM. Enough of this tax stuff... I love my "real" job!!!

Dude, get it together

I blamed it on pregnancy for the longest time...

And then I'd just had a baby...

But then Christmas came...

I guess I could always have an excuse, but I feel like my head just is NOT on STRAIGHT! What's my deal? I feel like I'm so forgetful and have a million+ things to do and don't do any of them. I'm frustrated with myself and feel like I let others down.

But then by the end of the day, I realize everything I DID do. I guess there are just so many things I want to do and so much that needs to be done that I'll always feel "behind." I guess that's good. I'll never be bored, at least.

Okay, I'm off to finish my Bible Study (I'm a few weeks behind), and then maybe I'll sweep (can't keep up with Emma's urge to 'decorate' the floor), and then maybe, just maybe I'll get a chance to cozy up with my scrapbook stuff... *sigh*

And then there was naptime...

Emma's new nickname: Boomerang.

Maybe naptime in the big girl bed isn't such a great idea. I lost track of how many times I put Emma back in her room after various visits to both mine and Addie's rooms. "Hi!" she would exclaim, as if I would be thrilled to see her at my door. Back she'd go, and the routine would start over again. "No, you can't have your beads (necklace) in bed with you. Yes, you can have your nightlight on. No, I don't know where your baby's hat is. Yes, Addie is sleeping. No, you can't stand on your bed..." And so it goes...

But then tonight she went down peacefully, and at my last bed check, she was zonked. And Addie went down without a peep. And Gary also went down without a fight. :) And the house is quiet.

I'm helping out in a tax office again this year - I'll be popping into help a couple dozen times between now and April 15th. It's painfully dry and boring, but the money is good and we sure can use it right now. Since we can work it that Gary stays home on the days I work for a few hours here and there, I'm okay with it. I was sad being away from them today, although I admit the break is nice. And I'm also glad to share my day-in and day-outs with Gary. It's good for him to know what it's like. :)

Tomorrow Gary's given me the day to go SCRAPBOOKING! Woo-hoo!!! I cannot wait. He's brave to do this two days in a row since he had the girls for about 5 hours today while I worked. Thankfully they were great for him; I hope tomorrow is the same. My sisters are meeting me at the scrapbook store, so I'm fully prepared to get nothing accomplished! Ha! I have a lot of LOs that are unfinished, so I'm hoping to at least finish up those loose ends and start some new pages I've got brewing in my brain. I'm sooooo excited!

Okay... I haven't done one of these before, but I'm going to do one of the challenges from the Scrapbooking message board I'm addicted to - 2Peas! Here goes...

Random challenge for Friday - list some fun facts about yourself.
- I have a freckle (or a mole?) right on the very tip of my nose. Perfectly centered.
- I love stale marshmallows.
- I'm afraid to stand on the drain in the shower.
- I love to make up words.
- I vowed to go to bed at 10:30 tonight and here it is... 11:53. Good night!

I'm not ready yet...

Big milestone tonight... A BIG GIRL BED!


I was a bit nervous to take this step, but Emma embraced it with the zeal she embraces life with. I guess I should've known! We made the awkward transition from her crib to her pack-n-play almost two months ago, only because we wanted to move the baby out of our room and into the crib. It probably felt weird for Em to move into a bed smaller than her crib, but it worked. We were amazed that night after night we'd remind her that she wasn't allowed to get out (because she SO could) until we came and got her in the morning. Each morning we were shocked that she'd be calling us from her room: "Mommy! Dad-deeeeeeeee! Out!" She disobeys us all day long, is constantly on the go, yet listens to and follows this simple command? It blows us away. She never once got out without our permission. But what would happen in a big girl bed...?

Tonight before her bath she helped us make up her new bed. She was so excited. I mean, SO EXCITED. We let her test it out and explained the rules. She said, "K." After her bath she was never so excited to go to bed! We tucked her in - after explaining the rules one more time - and said good night.

She didn't even want her old blankie.

She didn't care if the night light was on.

She was in her BIG GIRL BED.

With trepidation we left the room, wondering how long it would be before she would come downstairs and greet us. An hour later we snuck upstairs to check on her, and she was still awake, laying so still in that big bed. "'Night." she quietly said. We were stifling our giggles as we backed out of the room.

Not only were we surprised that the nightlight we had left ON was now OFF (the nightlight that she was SO excited about just a few weeks ago), but she had stayed in bed and was still awake.

I'm not ready for her to be a big girl yet. I'm not ready for her to not need her blankie or her nightlight. I was secretly hoping she'd put up a fight. But at the ripe old age of 2 years and 3 months old, I guess she's growing up. Just stay little, Emma. Stay little!

Gidee-yup!

Well, for starters, my parents and I took my little Emma-doll to the National Western Stock Show and Rodeo this weekend. YEEE-HAWWW! We had so much fun. I always had this dream of marrying a cowboy and each year when I go to the rodeo I remember why! I think I'm going to suggest next year that in addition to the cow exhibit, the sheep exhibit, the horse exhibit... that they need to have a cowboy exhibit. We get to talk to and pet the animals, so why not the cowboys? Okay, I'm KIDDING!!!! Sort of. Okay, I'm not kidding.

Anyway, there really is this soft spot in my heart for all things cowboy-ish, right down to the cute little black boots Emma was wearing. How ridiculous is it that I started crying when the rodeo started? I was hoping my mom and dad wouldn't look over and notice that I was all teary. There's just something about the sounds and the smells (ooohhh how I love the smell of cow manure - no, really!) that just makes me so happy and makes me feel all romantic or something. It makes sense in my head.

In other news... we had company over Sunday night. They're dear friends of ours, but we don't get together with them very often. I really don't think they'd ever leave judging us at all, but I felt like a mommy-failure by the time they left. We offered their 20-month old son juice - "Oh, we don't give our son juice. He only drinks water." Strike one. It was too late to explain that we water Emma's down. A ton. So then we urged Emma to play with him, and she ran over and turned on the TV. Strike two. So I'm making the pasta and boiled it over. Okay, not a big deal, it's just that that's when they caught the fact that I was making Pasta-Roni. Oh yeah, that's right, Pasta-Roni. I'm no Martha Stewart. I don't cook. "Pasta-Roni?" our guests commented. "I don't think they sell that at Whole Foods." Strike Three. Follow all of that with a night of out-of-control Emma and I just breathed a sigh of relief when they left!

I don't know what Emma's deal is lately, but I'm about ready to ask if I can trade my two-year-old in for two one-year-olds. Do they make deals like that? Seriously, I don't know what to do with her. I'm taking a great parenting class right now that talks about the freedoms that are appropriate for each age, and I'm afraid we've been giving Emma more freedoms than she can handle and now we're paying for it. I need to process all I've learned, but I'm pretty sure we've dug ourselves a hole that's gonna take a lot of work and perseverance to get out of. But we can do it. Last night was the struggle that broke Gary and I. After hours of her crying and screaming because she didn't want to go to bed, we just looked at each other feeling so helpless and out of patience! As I lay (laid? layed? lied?)in bed last night chewing over the day and reviewing my options as to how to control my little girl, I committed to praying for her every day. I pray for her now, but I need to be more intentional about it because I can't do this on my own. If I do my part, I'm confident I'll begin to see changes in her... and me.